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May 16, 2023

19 Stories Of LGBTQ Erasure From Gay Couples

"Oh, how cute, a double wedding! Where are the grooms?" Ma'am, there are no

"Oh, how cute, a double wedding! Where are the grooms?" Ma'am, there are no grooms.

BuzzFeed Staff

"Our wedding was at a nature center, which was open to the public during the day while we were getting ready and doing photos. We were in our wedding dresses, carrying our bouquets, with our photographer to do the photos before our ceremony. A family saw us, and the dad said, 'Oh, cool! Are you having a double wedding?'"

—u/TenThousandKobolds

"Yes, Carl. Because brides are known for sharing their wedding with Deb from HR. It's a great way to save money on venue fees!"

—u/SuspiciousPaperclip

"My ex and I who look nothing remotely alike used to get told it was nice to see sisters that were so close."

—u/FemmeCreature

"Love to see it. Sisters holding hands. With matching rings. And kissing...wait a minute..."

—u/SuspiciousPaperclip

"I had two female friends who were in a long-term relationship stay with me for a weekend in college and come to some parties with me. My male friend saw them making out at one point and was like, 'Wow, they must be really good friends,' and when I mentioned that they were dating, he just said, 'Oh shoot, I kept trying to hit on one of them! Lucky them.'

They had literally been holding hands and affectionate with each other the whole night (the girlfriends) so I think it was just wishful thinking on my other friend's part, LOL."

—u/argnsoccer

"At a wedding fair, pre-marriage, holding hands and generally being cute AF. It's worth mentioning that my wife and I are the most stereotypical looking soft femme/hard butch pairing imaginable.

Wedding Vendor: 'Hiiii ~ladies~! Who's the lucky bride?'

Me [slightly awkward]: 'Well, actually we both are.'

WV: 'Oh, how cute is that? Shopping together! When are the big days?'

Me: '30th of June.'

WV: [to my soon-to-be wife] 'And for you?'

Wife [visibly amused]: '...Also 30th of June.'

[Long, long pause.]

WV: 'Oh my god, a double wedding, that's the cutest thing I've ever heard of! You got the same venue, too? Adorable! Best friends of the year or what?'

Wife: 'Well, we like to think so.'

Needless to say, we didn't buy whatever she was selling, but we did laugh about it for the next solid week."

—u/IrrepressibleScamp

"My wife and I are the same age and have been friends since middle school. However, my wife does look older than me. So, once we went grocery shopping, and the checkout lady tells me to help my mom put the groceries in the cart. Another time we went to the bar area of a restaurant, and the host asked my wife if I was old enough to sit in the bar."

—u/Lesbefriends_2

"I was out at a bar with this girl after spending the entire day together. Some dudes were talking to us casually, maybe a little flirtatious. They ask about our plans for the evening, and I said, 'We are on a date.' They looked around confused and asked where were our dates? My date said very pointedly, 'With each other.' We were left alone after that."

—u/soloeject

"My wife and I were craft shopping one day. We're only three years apart (I'm 34, she's 31), but I have a lot of gray in my hair already. Normally, I love that, but on this particular day, a woman stopped us and said how charming she thought it was to see a mother and daughter out shopping together.

When I corrected her and said, 'That's my wife,' this stranger huffed dramatically and replied, 'Well, that's none of MY business!'

No, it actually wasn't your business. Ever."

—u/RhymesWithSky

"While I was a cashier, one of my coworkers asked two women that were signing up for a store card together, 'So, are you two, like, roommates? Good friends?'

One of the women replied, 'Haha, you could say we're good friends, sure.'

My coworker did not catch on."

—u/Novabella

"An ex and I (neither of us had come out as nonbinary yet, so we both looked like women) were dropping my best friend off at work, and a young man who worked with my friend saw us and asked, 'Oh, did you have a sleepover last night?' And we were like, 'Sure,' and he goes, 'Did you have pillow fights and talk about boys?' No, we actually said we loved each other for the first time, but uh...sure."

—u/PagingDrLecter

"Not mine but my mom's. She came out when I was about 10, and it went completely over my head for a while. She'd ask her girlfriend over and called her her 'special friend,' and sometimes she'd stay the night. They shared a bed and would take baths together, and for the guts of a year, I thought it was genuinely just to keep warm and save water because we didn't have a lot of money at the time, and it was always cold because we lived on the coast. Then, her 'friend' was coming over one day for dinner, and my little sister of all people told me that Mum's girlfriend is coming over later and she's going to cook for us."

—u/Puzzleheaded_Tree290

"My boyfriend and I walked into a shop holding hands and giggling at each other. He was checking out a sequin robe that was clearly designed for women to wear. The shopkeeper asked if he wanted to buy it, and he said, 'I don't think I have anywhere to wear that.'

So, the shopkeeper said, 'Do you have a girlfriend who might like it?' We both stared at each other.

He said, 'Err... no...'

The shopkeeper continued, 'Maybe a girl you like?'

My boyfriend grabbed my hand and said, 'I don't...like any girls.' She didn't seem to understand. We left the shop feeling very confused."

—u/xain_the_idiot

"Went away for the weekend to a hotel/water park. When checking in, the front desk lady said, 'Oh! I see two wedding rings, we must be getting away from the husbands for the weekend!' We both just stared back at her, as I caressed my wife's ring and said, 'Nope, we’re actually married…to each other.' The look of horror and confusion on her face was priceless."

—u/kittyk8888

"Had a drunk chick at the bar call the cops on me when I was much younger because she was insistent my 'dad' (BF at the time, now my husband) was molesting me. She only called the cops after I repeatedly turned her down and kissed my 'dad' in front of her."

—u/Worth_Inspection_420

"Had one just the other day:

'Where's your friend? You know, that tall guy?'

'You mean my husband?!'"

—u/Prosecco787

"It never was a relationship at all, but I was cuddling and kissing a friend I happened to be down bad for and had a guy come up to us and ask if we were sisters. No. The girl I am currently attempting to seduce is not, in fact, my sibling."

—u/asuperbstarling

"My girlfriend in college visited once, and my roommates were like, 'Hey sorry! If you want, we can make room in the living room so your friend doesn't have to share your bed?'

And I'm thinking, no that's very much the point."

—u/ericaferrica

"One time, my fiancé and I were checking into a hotel to celebrate our anniversary, and the guy at the counter was like, 'Oh my gosh, there was a mistake, it only has you down for one king-sized bed,' and we were like, 'Yeah, that's not a mistake,' and he was NOT having it. 'Oh no, I’ll upgrade you to a much better room, with two beds so you don't have to share.' We were absolutely dumbfounded. 😭😭 Like, homie, we want one bed! We were 'upgraded' to two queen-sized beds… y’all know what the other bed was for... 😂"

—u/iamstandingappa

"I, a bisexual, have an opposite story. I moved 1,000+ miles away from home and was living with my best female friend when my dad came to visit for the first time. I gave him a tour of our apartment, and at the end, he said how happy he was that I'd found someone and settled down.

I was like, 'What are you talking about?' And he said, 'There's only one bed!' And I was like, 'I only showed you my bedroom! I'm not going to let you in my roommate's bedroom, that's weird.'

But thanks, dad, you've got the spirit."

—u/Excellesse

"I was not the gay person in this story. No, I was the person who forgot gay people exist (yes, I cringe hard every time I think of this event).

I was volunteering for a Pride event in my city, and two women showed up to help with the volunteering. They showed up together and mentioned 'home' at one point, as in a place they both lived together. Dumbass me somehow managed to forget gay people exist while setting up for a gay Pride event and asked if they were sisters.

They just looked at me and said, 'No...' That was when I finally noticed their wedding rings and tried to pretend I had never existed. Like, I think I dematerialized at that moment from the embarrassment.

In my defense, it was like 6:30-7:00 in the morning, and apparently, my brain doesn't believe that you can be gay that early in the day??"

—u/lulugingerspice